Perfect Explanation
by thefastestbutt
Summary: It may look like Jess is jealous, but she's not. She has a perfect explanation.


Sunday mornings. She loved Sunday mornings. Not only because she didn't have to work, but also because she could wake up very early and just enjoy silence and peace for a while before anyone could wake up.

"It's gonna be such a greaaat daaay!" she sang while heading for the kitchen, happy she had the time to bake something tasty for her roommates. Unfortunately, she was wrong: it was not going to be such a great day, at least not for her.

She was just tapping her chin, thinking about what she could make, when she heard something very unusual for her at this time of the day: the doorbell.

She immediately ran towards the door and opened it, hoping for some kind of surprise.

And there it was, the surprise:

"Amanda!" she exclaimed with the most forced smile in the world. A genuine smile was in fact too much to ask for Jess at the sight of this girl, and there was a reason why.

Amanda was one of the two cousins Jessica Day had grown up with, the other being Amanda's twin sister: Rachel. They'd shared almost everything from their childhood to their teenage years, until the twins had moved away to another city.

Now, Jess loved these two girls, they were like sisters, but the thing with the one who was standing in front of her was that... well, she simply couldn't stand her. She could not point out exactly what made her so annoying, but it had been like this forever and she knew that was never going to change.

Maybe it was her perfect blonde hair, maybe it was the way she dressed, maybe it was the way she smiled. Again, Jess was not sure what it was exactly, but she was sure about one thing: her usually perfect Sunday morning had just been ruined.

"Hey, Miss Day!" was Amanda's response to Jess's super fake smile. She walked towards her and hugged her, in a very normal way. Yet, Jess felt the hug was too tight and just wanted to get out of it as soon as she could.

While waiting for that wish to be fulfilled, she asked her cousin: "What brings you here?"

Amanda broke out from the hug.

"Oh, right. Well, I just found a new job in the city and I was wondering if I could stay here with you for a few days until I find a place to stay." She smiled as bright as she could and showed her cousin her best pleading eyes.

"Your mom told me I would find you here and she suggested I didn't tell you anything and just catch you by surprise, because you love surprises... and so I... made a surprise! So, uhm... can I stay? Please?" she added, now starting to get a little uncomfortable at Jess's silence.

_No._

Jess would've been glad to answer her like that. Instead, she looked at her cousin, faked an enormous smile and told her:

"Yes! Of course!"

* * *

_Yes, of course,_ was Jess's thought a week and a half later: she should've expected Amanda was going to stay for a little longer than just a few days. She felt like she was spending too much time with her for her own good and it looked like Amanda had no intention to leave.

Great.

To make it all worse, Jess's hate towards her cousin seemed to have unbelievably deepened during those days and she tried to understand why. Unfortunately, she couldn't come up with anything new: maybe it was her perfect blonde hair, maybe it was the way she dressed, maybe it was the way she smiled...

"Or, you know, maybe it's that she's hitting on Nick," suggested her best friend.

_Puhlease. _Cece was not right at all, she wasn't jealous of Nick, she had no reason to be jealous: Amanda could date anyone she wanted, Nick could date anyone he wanted... and that was totally fine.

The way she would find any stupid excuse to touch him was totally fine.

The way she went to his room at night just to chat (?) was totally fine.

The way she always took the only available seat next to him was totally fine.

Yes, totally.

Jess had spent so much time telling herself that everything was fine that in the end she had no doubt about it: she didn't care if Amanda was hitting on Nick, nor about the fact that Nick looked like he was enjoying it.

She went on with this belief for a few days, until one night, unfortunately, she had to face the truth.

Jess was just reading some of her students' works on the couch; a hot cocoa in her right hand, a blanket on her knees. She was truthfully enjoying herself: the story she was reading was very good and she felt happy and peaceful as she realized no one was home. Or, well, she felt happy and peaceful as she realized Amanda wasn't home.

She'd just said she was going out with someone that night and that probably things were going to end "well", so Jess shouldn't have stayed up late waiting for her.

Jess was definitely and happily not waiting for her, but she was staying up late and some may say she was making a big mistake. Some may not.

Those who think that living in denial is better than facing your own true and, above all, hurtful feelings definitely would have told her to just get in her room before she saw what she was about to see. Instead, those who wisely think that not being honest with yourelf is one big, _big_ mistake would have told her to just stay there and watch. Carefully.

However, she was alone. There was no one else in the apartment and she couldn't listen to anyone's non-existent advice, so she decided all by herself to stay there for a little bit longer before she went to sleep.

She was exactly at the turning point in her student's story when she heard some really weird sounds: the sound of a key in the lock, the sound of the door opening and the sound of two voices speaking in between what she was sure were kisses.

Had she also heard the sound of a heart breaking somewhere in the room?

Nick and Amanda were so concentrated on making out that they didn't even realize that the lights were already on and that they had an audience.

"Keep going! Not a problem," Jess told them while faking a huge smile.

They immediately stopped kissing and turned to face her, Nick was way too embarassed, while Amanda was so happy she couldn't stop smiling.

"Sorry," she said, still smiling.

Jess couldn't stop smiling either, but it was a different kind of smile, not even a fake one anymore: she was daydreaming, she was thinking about how much she wanted to grab Amanda's head, take it away from her body, and just carelessly throw it out of the window.

Unfortunately, unable to actually do what she wanted to do, she _inadvertently_ put a sad face on, said "I'm the one who's sorry... to interrupt" and just went straight to her room.

* * *

The next day, Jess hoped she wouldn't have to face any of the two smoochers: she felt as if she had something to be ashamed of, for some reason. Yes, she imagined that avoiding people who lived with her wasn't going to be easy, but that didn't mean she couldn't act like she didn't see or hear them.

So her day went by like this: she tried her best not to look, nor speak to any of the two, who she now bitterly called "lovebirds".

"Lovebirds?" Nick asked her later that night, "why would you call us lovebirds?"

"I don't know, you looked like two lovebirds to me last night," she answered before trying to get away from that conversation as soon as she could. She had casually found herself in the same room with him when she had gone to take a glass of water. And there he was, sitting on a stool of the kitchen island trying to write one of his weird stories.

"Would you wait for a moment, please... before going to your room and avoid me like you've been doing the entire day?" he told her, actually irritated.

"Avoiding you? Please. Why would I avoid you?" She was panicking now, what if he realized she felt uncomforable around him because of last night?

"Is it because of me and Amanda?"

_Great. _Was she really that much of an open book?

"Amanda?" she tried her best to look surprised, "what's up with her?"

"Nothing, it's just that you seemed really weird last night: you had this creepy smile on your face while looking at her and... look, I know you don't like her, but-"

"No, I don't!" She interrupted him, and then went on without thinking: "I just don't understand why you like her, she's SO annoying! I've known for such a long time, and yet the only good thing that pops up in my mind when I think about her is how good her cupcakes taste..."

"Her cupcakes are really great", he muttered to himself while making his turtle face, but Jess was not finished yet:

"...and, you know what? I find that annoying, too! Because I wish my cupcakes were bettere than hers! So no, I don't think you should date her and I don't like that!" all that rambling had left her a little breathless.

Nick was just looking at her, slightly smiling and with his eyebrows up. He looked surprised, but also happy and satisfied, because he liked what he'd just heard.

He liked it because it could only mean one thing:

"Are you jealous?"

And then his smile got wider.

"What?" Jess frowned, she didn't expect him to say that out loud and that made the whole thing a little bit more real.

"Jealous of what, exactly?" She asked, laughing as if she'd just heard something totally ridiculous.

"Well, I don't know, but... I thought that you didn't want us to date just because you – you know – maybe you were scared she would become my girlfriend and then you would have to see her every single day, but.." That was not entirely true, but he had to pretend that he hadn't already thought, and wished, that her being upset was entirely about_ him_.

"..turns out..." now he was teasing her, "...you just don't want _me_ to be with her!"

"That's so not true."

"Oh, I think it is!"

"Oh, no. It's not." She hated this conversation. She just wanted to scream, run to her room, get locked inside and never come out of it again.

But she couldn't, she had to win this moment, so she added: "And you know why?"

"Why?" he had now become more serious and adjusted to his seat, waiting for her to explain.

"I have a perfect explanation for my behaviour: I really, _really_ can't stand her."

Well, that was barely brand new information and Nick couldn't help but snort.

She smiled. "No, really: I don't. It's been like that since I can remember, everything she does gets on my nerves! I love her, I really do, but... as a hater of everything she does, I hate that she's been hitting on you, too".

That seemed like the perfect explanation.

Well, not really.

But they needed to justify the way they acted so much that they actually thought this kind of explanation was reasonable and made sense. No, they definitely weren't in denial.

"Okay," he said while closing his laptop and getting up.

She felt pretty satisfied with how the conversation was ending, so she was staring blankly ahead and repeatedly nodding to herself while thinking "_way to go, girl."_

Nick was heading for his room, but then he turned around: "Oh, and.. by the way, nothing happened. I guess we just don't click."

He slightly smiled, as if he felt the need to reassure her; she just kept nodding, this time to him, slower, and with her eyes wide open.

And then, after he left the room and _only_ after he left the room, she allowed herself to smile.

* * *

The perfect explanation was definitely not so perfect and a couple of months later it literally made no sense, at all. Jessica Day simply couldn't stand _anyone_ who would come too near Nick Miller, and not just her cousin Amanda.

But the best part about the "perfect" explanation was that it had become totally useless: after all, you don't need one when you're jealous of your boyfriend.


End file.
